I recently made a video about how misogyny is reflected in our language, and somebody asked for a follow up post about how we can shift our language.
The main thing with any behavior is you can’t shift anyone but yourself.
What we can do is model it and set boundaries around how people are allowed to talk near us and to us.
For example, if somebody says something as simple as, “Go and book your next appointment with the girl at the front desk.”, you could just answer with, “Great. I’ll talk to the woman at the front desk.”
We’re not gonna be like, “I won’t talk to the girl. I’m gonna talk to the woman.” You’re not going to call them out, especially in a situation where you’re probably never gonna see the person again, because that puts up their defenses. Then they’re gonna be like, “Ugh. Forget it. I am never using the word woman.” If you just use it like it’s normal: “I’ll go talk to the woman at the front desk.” They will hear it. You are a drop in the bucket and that will add up until it just sounds weird to say girl at the front desk.
What we can do is model the language we want to hear and make sure we ourselves are using inclusive language. Over time, that is how language changes. Language is learned through hearing and language changes through what we hear.
Help people hear what you want them to hear.