If you happen to be involved with a mainline church, this Sunday is the story is Mary and Martha.
Basically, Jesus comes to visit, Martha does all of the traditional (female) hostess activities, Mary sits down to listen to Jesus teach (something generally only reserved for men), and when Martha complains that Mary is not helping, Jesus throws a total curveball (as he often does) by gently saying Mary is doing it right. (Details are here.)
Mary. The one who isn’t helping. Is doing it right. Whoh.
It’s such a fun story that it’s even a production number in the series of musicals I do, called “Why be Mary when Martha’s having all of the fun?” It plays into the idea that Mary is doing the preferred activity (listening and learning) but the characters in the musical actually enjoy being in the kitchen and serving. But maybe it’s not such an obvious dichotomy?
Don’t get me wrong, I love that Jesus supports equality, saying that a woman is allowed to learn (and presumably teach) just as much as a man. But sometimes that gets twisted into meaning that the learners and teachers (and preachers!) are MORE important than those who are doing hospitality.
Um, no. It’s quite plausible that Martha sat down, learned a few things too, and then BOTH Mary and Martha went back to the work of hospitality. The work flows out of the learning.
Here’s the kicker: Jesus said that Martha is worried and distracted. That’s why she should sit down. Not because hospitality isn’t important, but because it was stressing her out. When we’re worried and distracted we should do LESS, but we often think we need to do MORE.
We’ve all been there. It’s time to stop. It’s time to breathe. It’s time to figure out how to permanently cut a few things out so that we can adequately sit, listen, learn, and refill.
Not sure how to make that happen? I hope you’ll reach out for a free exploratory session. Coming out of the pandemic, I’m finding that so many leaders got into a rhythm of doing all of the hospitality, and the stress and burnout reached a tipping point. You think you can do more, it feels somehow more “holy” to do more, you may even have someone near you explicitly demanding that you do more.
I’m here to tell you that you are not serving them or anyone else by depleting yourself. Let’s talk ASAP, and find a graceful way to be a little more Mary and then a healthier version of Martha.
~ Dawn
P.S. If you’re worried or distracted from what matters, click here to set up a free exploratory session and let’s figure out a better way together.