I’ve decided to take up more space in the world. Like, actual physical space.⁣
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Don’t worry, I’m still putting my bag on my lap in crowded subways, but I’m definitely choosing the seat that forces the man spreader to stop taking up two seats.⁣
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I was in a long line at Chipotle the other day. Two men were behind me, having a lively discussion. One bumped me. I turned around with a neutral expression, just so he realized that I was there.⁣
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He didn’t realize I was there. As we inched forward over the next 15 minutes, he kept talking to his co-worker and bumped me three more times. From behind. Why does he continually inch up so close to me in a well-defined line where no one will be able to cut in front of him?⁣
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It’s because he’s fundamentally not acknowledging my space. He’s overlooking me and my humanity.⁣
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After the fourth time being mildly but unnecessarily hit from behind, I turned around with my best Minnesota-nice half-smile and looked him in the eye. He started with “It’s OK … ” thinking I would apologize for him hitting me. Apologize for somehow being anywhere near him when I had no control over how closely he followed me in line. ⁣
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In calm, even tones, I said, “Could you please give me my space? Thank you.” ⁣
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Stunned silence. ⁣
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His co-worker went before him in the taco-making line. His co-worker gave me my space.⁣
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In a world where we suppress women’s stories (Exhibit A: this week’s Oscar nominations), suppress women’s leadership, and suppress women’s ideas in meetings and committees everywhere, we need to train ourselves to allow women to take up space.⁣
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And it all starts in the Chipotle line.⁣
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How could you take up more space as a storyteller, leader, or idea-generator? How would that increase your impact?